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Relationships & Dating

Ways to Respark the Flame in Long-Term Marriage

After decades of marriage and plenty of ups and downs, it isn’t unusual to feel that initial spark fade, especially if you haven’t made the effort to maintain it. Find out how to re-spark the flame in your marriage and keep your relationship red-hot for years to come.

Remember the Early Days

Life has a habit of getting busy, especially as you strive to build a career, raise children, and live life. It’s easy to forget what brought you together in the first place once you’ve discovered some of your spouse’s less desirable traits in the intervening years. Take the time to remember the early days and re-experience that initial spark. Reminiscing on old memories and trips, or recreating your first date, can help remind you where it all began.


When you’ve known your spouse for decades, it’s easy to assume you can predict what they’re going to say or how they’ll respond. That might mean you don’t listen carefully or don’t feel the need to eliminate distractions during conversations. Try giving your partner your full attention and listening without judgment. It will spark a deeper connection. You may assume you know how your spouse is feeling, but sometimes just asking “How are you doing?” can show you care about their mental wellbeing and daily life.

Touch Regularly

If you’ve gotten out of the habit of enjoying the small touches and reminders of your connection, you might not remember how meaningful these gestures can be. Try holding hands or giving your partner a hug a few times a day. Your relationship could benefit from the feeling of closeness.

Plan an Adventure

If there’s no room for excitement in your routine, it might be time to plan an adventure. Start small with a midweek date night or taking that trip to the beach you’re always talking about. It doesn’t have to be over the top, but it should help you get out of your rut and see your partner with newly sparkling eyes.

No matter how you’re feeling about your relationship, you aren’t alone. Sign up for Super Senior Connection to link up with other seniors, compare experiences, and share your stories with likeminded peers.

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